It is no secret that the people you hangout with the most have a tremendous influence on who you are, more precisely, who you will become. In our relationships with our friends, we are constantly giving and taking on various quirks—from the way we talk, walk, and dress, to the way we think—all these things are constantly being shaped and reshaped by the people we surround ourselves with.
This is a great discovery… Why?
We can shape who we are by making friends with people we look up to, without even consciously trying to imitate that person, we develop traits similar to them.
This is not a call for people to form superficial relationships in hopes to be like others…
It is not as easy as it sounds. We are naturally drawn to people who are similar to us; this similarity can be broken down into many categories (ex. race, sex, profession, major etc.). It is now obvious that any attempt to penetrate a social group that you do not normally occupy, will be faced with reluctance or
rejection at worst.
This means that positioning is crucial, a question you must answer is,
what can I offer someone who is_________ if we become friends?
Answer this question genuinely.
Independent growth may also be necessary on your part in an effort to maneuver this new group— at no point in your search for friends who can help you to grow should you feel inadequate, as it is important to note that you are their equal from a human perspective…
I am also writing under the assumption that the person you want to become, is someone who is professional, articulate, confident, self-aware, and ultimately urbane. Thus, the friends you want are people who would exhibit these traits.
The saying “birds of a feather flock together”, is true… but it is not because we are naturally similar in behavior (which is learned)…
Close proximity usually forces interaction, through this interaction we start to become more like each other and we even start to see similarities that would not be obvious at first glance.